Thursday
Personal Log, 14120.5 –
Ah, spontaneity. It really is the only part of life that proves we exist. After all, it can’t all just be in our mind if things happen we hadn’t thought of.
I ended up working a show with someone I hadn’t seen in a while in it (and by someone I hadn’t seen in a while, I mean an ex) and the whole situations has been messing with my head. I guess I just didn’t know how to react. I hadn’t felt that way in a while, really, not since before the musical.
I’m so glad it happened, now. Once I was genuinely surprised by something, I started being surprised by all the things I already knew. I realized that all those thousand-watt scoops we don’t need to light the cyc… we can just turn them around and, boom, we have some sweet key lighting. I realized that I don’t have to take an “all-or-nothing” approach to the shows Tech Crew does. (Thought I’m still not certain if that last one is a bad idea.)
I also realized that not badmouthing exes or significant others behind their back can prevent me from really being honest to people. I’m just afraid of being a gossip, I guess (and don’t regret it, either). But maybe I should try and talk things out more.
Maybe I should vary the gel colors I use more, and get a more cues from fewer lamps.
Maybe I should get high.
Maybe I shouldn’t get upset over the little signs of unprofessionalism, and not yell at people for ducking in and out of the curtain on occasion.
Maybe I should get laid.
Maybe I should try.
Maybe.
posted by J'myle 9:54 PM
Wednesday
Personal Log, 14120.4 -
9.00a - Played Bible Quest with Sam, discussed how much sex there is in the bible.
10.30a - Went to Big City Soup, discussed nature of sex with Jericha.
12.00p - Got news that purchase order for lamps was approved. Better than sex.
12.30p - TOK. Jer Darais and Emily McConnell didn't know what S&M meant.
2.15p - Spent fifteen minutes trapped between two moving freight trains.
3.00p - Dance concert rehersal. Highland dancer is my ex. Freaked out.
8.00p - Found myself watching "The West Wing." Can't remember a thing that happened at rehersal.
posted by J'myle 10:00 PM
Tuesday
Personal Log, supplemental -
I hung with Alex from Czechoslovakia during third today. God, the mall is boring during the day. Now I remember why I never sluff there. Oh, well.
According to Al, Cory used to have a temple recommend. He claims that the locker rooms in the temple are almost never cleaned. So that's the secret the Mormons have been hiding all these years - poor hygiene. Explains a lot, no?
He also talked about the golden calves that are apparently used to hold up the temple fount. Apparently the symbol of a golden calf also has some history among anti-Semitic groups. Then again, the swastika was an ancient Gaelic charm for fertility and luck. I'm just not sure I understand why people put so much effort in investing inanimate objects with meaning.
I mean, why say the temple represents anti-Semitism as a way to air frustrations with the Mormon Church? I understand having problems with the church, especially here, but you have to take things in perspective. I think whoever the church lawyer was that approved the main street deal was is a complete moron. I think that baptism for the dead is, at the very least, an exercise in futility. But that doesn't mean I don't appreciate the architecture of the temple.
I appreciate the architecture of the church office building too, but not in a way the faithful would appreciate.
posted by J'myle 11:22 AM
Personal Log, 14120.3 -
Probability is normal. The laws of physics are functioning normally. Nothing is on fire. You're problems are your own.
But who would want to count the president's nose hairs?
Speaking of the president, I got the new New Republic yesterday. As usual, the back page was the most enlightening. Apparently there was a children's books character named Eloise...
Okay, if I have nothing to say, why am I talking? I should be fucking, or at least shut up.
posted by J'myle 6:38 AM
Monday
Personal Log, supplemental -
What IS it about readheads?
posted by J'myle 5:40 PM
Personal Log, supplemental -
Oy, the dance concert is going to be the opposite of fun. At least I get to see dancers in spandex.
Talked to Hillary about the lamps. Theoretically, we'll get lamps for the cans on the day of the show. Can you see that? "Hey, we've got a show in six hours. Let's rehang and refocus it from the ground up!" Could I spend 14 months in a North Korean prison instead?
At least I got a few nice new fantasies today. Mike suggested putting Joe in a catholic school girl's outfit after he's Vampirised in the photo shoot. I spent all of fourth trying to decide who, of all the people I know, would look sexiest in a catholic school girls outfit.
None of the girls made the list. And I'm not just being faggy here, either. Men have a decisive advantage in this situation - they aren't supposed to wear skirts. I know, I know, the appeal of cross-dressing is pretty obvious. But the same thing applies to pretty much all sex appeal. The foundation of sex appeal in the modern era is the fact that sex is a forbidden act. That's one of the reasons teenagers are so sexy - they're not supposed to be screwing. That's also why lesbians are so appealing to heterosexual men, and vica versa. So the way to make someone sexy is to make them the opposite of what they are supposed to be.
Women are supposed to be soft, pastel, and on a pedestal of virgin sanctity. That is a sexy image, of course. But the sexiest women today are lit with hard light, clad in black or primary colors, and shot close up, not far away. Most importantly, sexy women don't isolate themselves. They dance, laugh, get drunk, or do something to live.
Men are supposed to be simple-minded, confidant, debonaire. In a name, James Bond. And how many people would refuse sex with James Bond? By my count, two and a half. And that's old-school James Bond, Sean Connery, not all of them together. But the sexiest guys are a little more complicated and even a little abstract. Take Mike's friends, a nice cross-sampling of sex appeal. The most attractive isn't the hunk, or the flirt-head in the cocktail dress - the sexiest is the one who doesn't know he's sexy.
Okay, this whole turned out to be about sex. I was going to make a rule that I shouldn't talk about fucking in every single entry, but I don't think that's going to work. So my new rule is that every entry addresses fucking, but not in exactly the same manner every single time.
posted by J'myle 1:55 PM
Personal Log, 14120.2 -
What are the fundamental images? Jung talked about the collective unconscious, and I think he had some good ideas. There are literary archetypes that occur throughout human civilization, in all forms and shapes. I think there are images that do the same thing. But what are they? Which paintings, or photographs, or icons affect everyone?
The Indians had some - if you saw "Skinwalkers," you know what one of them is. Not to mention what Robert Redford's kid has been up to, god bless him.
I am going to find one of these images. Just one of them.
It'll probably be a sexual one. I know, I know, all my entries this week have degenerated into fucking - but I have a professional relationship with sex, and a personal relationship with sex. I try to keep them separate, though it can be difficult.
The school computers don't have the word "fucking" in their spell check database. I have witnesses.
posted by J'myle 11:33 AM
Sunday
Personal Log, 14120.1 -
Okay, let's try this again, folks. I've lost a lot of computer stuff fixing everything that went wrong while I was off at the musical, and this blog is only the latest casualty. Still, in the new James Bond movie, people pay huge sums of money just to start over - I'm getting the same opportunity free of charge.
I finally got around to setting up the YahooGroup for the mock trial teams. Looking forward to mock trials this year - any chance I get to fake patience and professionalism is worth savoring.
And I really to have to get better at faking professionalism. I mean, I didn't actually say to his friend, "Actually, while I was explaining that to him, all I could think about was bending him over the sound board and fucking his brains out." That would have been unprofessional.
But I was thinking it.
More than once.
posted by J'myle 10:04 PM
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